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Communicating is Listening – Nerdful Mind #59

February 28, 2021 by Simon Mannes

Communicating is hard.

It is the only way we interact with others. And we cannot not communicate. Other humans are the source of much of our joy and most of our sadness.

Therefore, we should always strive to get better at communicating. Better in this sense means communication that results in less stress on both sides, more positive feelings, fewer misunderstandings, and a deeper shared understanding of the subject of communication.

You can find many different books, videos, and even coaching programs about communicating better. Some of them are really worth your time (e.g. the Nonviolent Communication approach).

“Listening doesn't always equate to hearing. Hearing doesn't always lead to understanding, but active listening helps each person truly "see" the other.” ― Sanjo Jendayi

There are some rules I learned that help me:

  • If I don't know something, I ask before making assumptions.
  • If I'm unsure of something, I assume the most positive possible interpretation. Assume the best intentions until proven otherwise.
  • If I haven’t told someone to do something, I must not get angry when that person didn't do it. People can't read my mind.

I'm sure there are many more (un)written rules of great communication. Please reply and let me know yours!

Reading Recommendations

Creating Impact When You’re Overwhelmed

“Our lives can be chaotic and overwhelming, and we can feel like we’re struggling to stay afloat. We feel behind, stressed, distracted, undisciplined, unworthy. And in the middle of all of this, we want to do our meaningful work. We want to create an impact. How can we find focus and create some kind of meaningful impact in the face of this chaos and overwhelm?”

The Gift of Deep Listening

“Deep listening, then, is an investment—in our relationships, in intimacy, and understanding other people. We stand to learn so much about our children, partners, ancestors, community members, and those we perceive as “other” through this practice.”

Difference between Fault, Error, and Failure explained with JavaScript

“You've heard of the terms fault, error, and failure. And as software developers, we use them every day. But what do they mean? One popular definition is...”

Weekly Mindfulness Practice

I often give myself a hard time.

“You should've done this earlier.” “Why were you so unproductive today?” “Fix your sleeping schedule!”

This week, try to notice every time you get angry with yourself. When you notice it, remind yourself that there is no point in talking yourself down. Instead, let go and smile.

You deserve to be treated with love and kindness by the person closest to you, yourself.

End Note

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Have a great week


PS: If you found an article you think others might like, and that fits this newsletter, I’d love it if you write me an email. Just reply!