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Communicating Mindfully – Nerdful Mind #65

April 11, 2021 by Simon Mannes

Mindfulness not only benefits your own life.

When you stay present without judging, you are more calm, and more compassionate with yourself and others.

We can take mindfulness to our communication. This leads to deeper and more relaxed conversations, with everyone involved being happier.

Here are 5 tips that help me communicate more mindfully.

Mindful communication is about being fully present without judging your own thoughts or whatever you think you understood from your conversation partner.

Make the other person feel heard and understood by asking clarifying questions, and by summarizing what you understood and asking if that is what they meant. Don't assume you know what they want to say.

Value the opinions and experiences of the people you talk to. If someone has a different opinion than you, that's okay. They made unique experiences in their lives.

Differing opinions are not the same as personally attacking each other. It's okay to leave the conversation if the other person gets angry or attacks you.

Be careful with statements or recommendations that include the other person. Avoid words such as “only”, “just”, “never”, and “always”.

Resist the urge of “responding”. When someone talks, listen. Don't just wait for your turn to tell them something.

Ultimately, communicating mindfully means being fully present, making the other person feel heard and understood, valuing opinions and experiences, and resisting the urge of "responding".

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." — Stephen R. Covey

Reading Recommendations

The Guilt of Not Working More, When We're Done for the Day

“At the end of a day of work, there can be a simple practice of wrapping things up and shutting down for the day. But so many of us feel guilty at simply stopping, and this feeling that we should be doing more … it drives some of us to keep going […]”

7 Tips for Not Personalizing

A short and effective list with 7 tips for not personalizing, taken from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

Human-Readable JavaScript: A Tale of Two Experts

“JavaScript gives us many ways to do things, but deciding which way can be tricky. Laurie Barth gives us a story of two experts who solve this problem in different ways, giving some insight into how…”

Weekly Mindfulness Practice

The next time you’re outdoors, try a walking meditation. It only adds a few minutes to your route, and walking is a great opportunity to practice mindfulness.

Before you start walking, stand still and focus on your next two to three breaths.

Now shift your attention to your feet. Do you feel your weight on the floor?

Start walking slowly before going to your usual walking speed. Focus on the sensations in your feet on each step.

Use the sensations in your feet as your anchor and return to them when your mind wanders off.

End Note

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Have a great week

Simon

PS: If you found an article you think others might like, and that fits this newsletter, I’d love it if you write me an email. Just reply!

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