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Negative Feelings – Nerdful Mind #122

May 15, 2022 by Simon Mannes

What does it mean if you have negative feelings?

I mean the feeling of being nervous, or stressed, or angry, about something that's coming up or something another person said.

Sure, there's the immediate negative feeling that you experience.

But all negative feelings exist because of a reason. Sometimes this reason is obvious and sometimes it is not.

Whenever you have a negative feeling, there's some underlying information your mind wants to make you aware of. Any strong emotion requires energy and depletes resources. So your mind and body would never do that without good reason.

This means there's something that's important to you underneath whatever is happening at the moment.

An example of this is, e.g., when someone makes a negative comment about your latest piece of work. Depending on how you are wired, if you get angry, this may be because either you feel personally attacked, or fear losing your reputation and eventually your job about this.

Or take another situation where you feel stressed about an upcoming presentation. That's because you care deeply about at least some aspect of this. “Will this be enough?” “What will the others think of me?”

The first step to handling negative emotions is to recognise them. After that, you have a choice:

  1. Learn to endure it and live with that feeling
  2. Take it as a sign that this is important to you, and as a trigger to improve the situation.

Ideally, try doing both.

“Don't fight against negative emotions-It’s exhausting. Try to embrace them instead.” ― Anoir Ou-Chad

Reading Recommendations

Notes on Life: Mantras, Small Things, Lists, and Such

“On Mantras - As I was running the other day, I was thinking about mantras, and how I’ve used them with some success in different situations. As silly as you may feel by repeating a mantra, I think they have great use — they ingrain an idea in your head and serve as a reminder of something important.”

“Negative Emotions”: Enemy or Friend?

“Once emotions are understood, specific coping mechanisms can be applied. Once the emotion is addressed, you will feel it less or not at all. For example, if your blood glucose level is too low you will feel hungry. You cope with this feeling by eating, which raises your blood glucose, and your hunger goes away.”

What Agile Really Means

“Nowadays almost every software development company and team claims to be agile and usually follows some kind of agile methodology. However in the middle of the whole agile movement the real meaning of "agile" is often lost. What does it mean to write code in an agile way?”

Weekly Mindfulness Practice

I often give myself a hard time.

“You should've done this earlier.” “Why were you so unproductive today?” “Fix your sleeping schedule!”

This week, try to notice every time you get angry with yourself. When you notice it, remind yourself that there is no point in talking yourself down. Instead, let go and smile.

You deserve to be treated with love and kindness by the person closest to you, yourself.

End Note

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Have a great week

Simon

PS: What do you think about this? Please hit reply and let me know. I’m curious!

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