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Online Miscommunication - Nerdful Mind #18

May 17, 2020 by Simon Mannes

As humans, we tend to misinterpret communication. Especially when we’re not seeing the other person face-to-face. When was the last time you received a text message that you stared on in disbelief? A message that made you feel angry, sad, or disregarded?

Events like this can lead to you hastily typing a response and the situation to escalate into an argument.

When we don’t see each other directly, we lack information: their facial expressions, body language, tone of voice. We also lack context information: what are they doing right now that led to them writing us a message? Our relationship with that person also influences how we interpret messages.

Always assume miscommunication over malice.

When you feel a heat wave rushing through your body upon reading a text message, take a deep breath. And then another. Ask yourself: Can I understand this message in another way? Does the content of the message imply any negative intention? Is there really negative content somewhere?

There is often no direct attack on us in a message. If you are not sure about the author’s intention, ask them what they meant. Your first intuition could have been right.. or completely wrong.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ― George Bernard Shaw

Reading Recommendations

Does Mindfulness Make You More Compassionate?

Mindfulness is more than just moment-to-moment awareness, says Shauna Shapiro. It is a kind, curious awareness that helps us relate to ourselves and others with compassion.

How Actor-Observer Biases Affect the Way We Interact With People

We tend to attribute our actions to external factors and other people's actions to internal ones. Discover the psychology of the actor-observer bias.

What Makes a Good Programmer? | Henrik Warne's blog

What makes a good programmer? It's an interesting question to ask yourself. It makes you reflect on the craft of software development. It is also a good question to ask your colleagues. It can trigger some interesting discussions on how you work together. Here are five skills I think are crucial to have in order to be…

Weekly Mindfulness Practice

Grab your hands and squeeze them tight. Hold that for 5 to 10 seconds, then let go. Be aware of how your hands feel. Stay with that feeling as long as you can.

This is a quick exercise that you can repeat throughout the day.

End note

When this was interesting to you, there might be someone you know who will also like this. Please consider forwarding this mail to that person.

Have a great week

Simon

PS: If you found an article you think others might like and that fits this newsletter, I’d love it if you write me an email.

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