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Sometimes It's Too Much – Nerdful Mind #91

October 10, 2021 by Simon Mannes

This year, I quit my job to become a freelance software engineer.

I had a pretty good idea what was going to come. But together with all my other projects, my ambitions, and additional personal challenges, having to do so much overwhelmed me.

Sometimes it was just too much.

Three things helped me overcome this feeling, again and again:

  • Talking to other people. The most helpful groups are friends and people who have been there and done something similar.
  • Mindfulness. Taking a deep breath. Noticing how this stress affects my body. Accepting it without letting it overwhelm me. And letting it go.
  • Self-compassion. Thinking to myself: “it's okay to feel this way, this is important to you. You're alive, and you have survived other things in the past.”
“This too shall pass.”—A Persian adage

It also helps to remember worry is useless, and that we should attach to inputs, not results.

Reading Recommendations

Stressed and Overwhelmed? Here's Where to Start

“When life gets overwhelming, we often feel angry and victimized. And yes, there are some things we can't change (such as a global pandemic). So when you get stressed and overwhelmed, where do you start? With what you can control: you.”

Why Uncertainty Makes Us Change Our Behavior – Even When We Shouldn’t

“Unexpected uncertainty is a motivator for change that prompts us to change our decisions and behaviors, even when changing the decision does not provide a better outcome.”

Basic Concepts of Software Design and Architecture

Software architecture and design fundamentals, including design patterns, practices, principles, and conventions.

Weekly Mindfulness Practice

Do a “slow evening”, or a “slow morning”.

For a slow evening, start half an hour before you go to bed. Breathe more consciously and slow down with anything you do. You’ll have time to let go of thoughts before you lie in bed.

For a slow morning, don’t use your phone for the first 10-30 minutes of your day. Do what you usually do to get ready for the day and add a mindfulness practice. Meditate, go for a brief walk, or drink your tea or coffee mindfully.

End Note

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Have a great week

Simon

PS: What do you think about this? Please hit reply and let me know. I'm curious!

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